Doing Good

And feeling bad

It’s hard not to be a hypocrite sometimes. Twelve years ago I spent my last $100 on a psychic in New Orleans that told me I had I issues with money. Afterwards I over-drafted my checking account buying the mound of citrine she suggested for prosperity. For a while I was really addicted to crystal, minerals not meth. Much like self-help books, milk thistle tinctures and the attention of toxic men, I was hopeful that crystals were the answer and so I collected them with fury and failed expectations. That was until I read an article about how a lot of crystals are mined just as dangerously as blood diamonds. While I’m glad I found out the truth about my tiger’s eye bracelet, it sucked to add yet another thing that is meant to bring joy to my list of things that cause harm.

OMG am have I been meditating holding blood quartz this whole time??

If ignorance is bliss, then awareness is hell. That Forever 21“feminist” tee that you wore to that protest you went for seven minutes just to get a photo? It was made by a female slave garment worker in a third world country. Your Facebook page, where you posted the protest photo on in an effort to bring awareness to a cause? That company allows and amplifies misinformation and hate-speech, disbanded its DEI team, and are a huge reason why shit sucks right now. The Google search I just did to fact-check all the above? It used AI which contributes to increased energy and water consumption, leading to higher greenhouse gas emissions and strains on resources.

I choose to be an informed consumer, but sometimes envy people that have no idea that cage-free doesn’t always mean cruelty-free. Here I am having a panic attack trying to figure out if my Whole Foods salad container goes in recycling, compost or the trash- meanwhile Whole Foods is owned by Amazon which is owned by Jeff Bezos who in just one weekend at this wedding produced more emissions per guest than 1.7 to 5 years worth of energy use for a typical American home! Why am I feeling so much guilt over trash bin confusion when the monsters dismantling the EPA are feeling none?

I’m not here to shame anyone for using plastic straws, nor am I here to brag that I remember to use my disgusting-dentist tool-tasting metal straw twice a year. In fact, I’m here to do the opposite of shame. I am here to give you permission to be a little bit clueless sometimes- not at the total expense of your morals but for the protection of your sanity. I deeply believe and have witnessed within my own life that, self-compassion and rest is an important part of activism. You can’t fight fascism if you’ve spent the last three weeks fighting sleep to argue all night with internet bots about whether or not Love Island contestants are racists. You can’t make a difference if you’re making yourself sick with guilt over eating Chick-Fil-A once in seven years because it was the only food option on your road trip. You can’t change the world if you don’t change how much pressure you put on yourself to always do the right thing and to do it absolutely perfectly.

You eat sustainable local 60% of time? Incredible! You look at the news for 20 minutes a day and avoid social media all weekend? Amazing! You can’t fix the world but you can volunteer at the local library book sale next month? Thank you! Be informed, do the best you can and give yourself grace. You can do more good if you aren’t constantly feeling bad.

Thrifting

I found this light up Buddha water fountain at an estate sale for $7. I almost didn’t get it because plastic is the devil, but buying second-hand is sustainable. Again, doing my best. I also got this pretty tile and wood tray handmade in Palestine and purchased at Scribble’s fundraiser pop-up where I had a nice chat with Daoued who brought all the goods to Los Angeles to help his community. 100% of the profits go to the makers and you can also purchase online and pick-up in LA or NYC. The candle is by Soul Food Candle Co. I met this lovely couple at the York Manor Market and really felt a connection during the the twenty minutes I spent oversharing at their sales table. The fireplace was hidden behind my TV since we moved into our house in 2022. I finally got around to getting a mounted TV stand for it and wow, I feel like a real grown-up.

Tasting

Normally when I think of Cape Cod I think fried fish, clam chowder and Dunkin Donuts. When I was in the Cape a few weeks ago I was happily surprised to find a more diverse selection of food than didn’t immediately activate my IBS. My favorite thing I ate was spicy tuna bites at Mooncussers in Harwich Port: crispy fried sticky rice cakes, nori, sriracha mayo, sweet soy sauce and scallions. It was one of those dishes that made me moan like I was in Harry Met Sally.

Toking

I love an edible with THC + CBD, for me it offers a nice balance between being high and being calm. These ones from Good Tide were just what I needed after being at the vet for two hours because we thought my dog was dying. She’s okay, for now. They also have CBG which is supposed to help reduce inflammation and help improve your memory which is hilarious since weed reduces your memory. I think. I can’t remember. These also paired well with watching Happy Shiny People, a disturbing docu-series I strongly recommend! Season one is about the Duggards and season two is about Teen Mania and both really explain the connection between cult Christianity and the current state of American politics. It’s on Amazon Prime and I feel like an asshole because I boycotted shopping Amazon but still watch the network! Like I said, be informed, do the best you can and give yourself grace.

Also totally unrelated, Seema’s beautiful hair last night on And Just Like That. I’ve been wearing mine bigger and fuzzy lately, does this mean frizz is in? Also, can we talk about how Steve yelling at Brady was the most real moment of this entire series? Anyhoo, love the hair, hate the show, can’t wait to watch the next episode.